I'm going to be super honest. Some days filming videos for my channel feels soooooo natural and others feel forced, weird or like a total fail. Sometimes I go to edit a video and I'm like "what the heck am I even doing this for???". But then there are the fun videos - like this one. The music is perfect, the footage we got was pretty fun and overall, I'm stoked to have a video memory of my life in this moment. I can't even tell you guys how many times I can go from one extreme to the other of "yes, do you boo, I'm creating something from nothing and I am proud!" to "honestly what is this even for and how many people make fun of me for doing YouTube?". I know the latter is like "geez louise, calm yoself" but like, hello - I'm human.
I would love to consistently live the advice I give to my friends, siblings and husband. I tell them to “do you boo, don’t care what anyone thinks, do what makes you happy, you have so much to offer, keep going, rock that red lipstick, wear that outfit, be confident, you are amazing, valued, loved, and you are trying”. But I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t experience self doubt. I do try and work to not focus on those rough patches but it’s really easy to get stuck in my head about all the negatives that come with creating something from nothing. But, on the other hand, the joy I receive from finishing a video I am proud of, creating a graphic that I like and even simply accomplishing these things, is pretty great.
I’m only telling you guys this so that you know that just because I make videos, post on this blog, use all the #hashtags on my Instagram and work on growing my ~creative flow~… I still feel silly and I can more often than not, doubt everything. Am I good enough? Am I embarrassing myself? Is this silly? The things we put on the internet- the perfectly edited image, the happy videos, the blog posts… those things are beautiful, fun and lighthearted - but there is also a real person behind all of it. A real, insecure, and vulnerable person.
I tell you all these things because I hope you find encouragement from this. You can do anything you set your mind to. If you want to try making videos, start a blog, post pretty pictures on Instagram and join that creative and aspiring community, you totally can. And you will more than likely experience feeling down about yourself after scrolling too deep in someone’s perfectly laid out Instagram feed or how amazingly edited "so and so's" YouTube video’s are but at the end of the day, creating something from nothing is pretty impressive and if you are proud and it brings you joy, then do you, boo. This creative world is open to everyone and the amount of fulfillment I receive from this, even through the seasons of doubt, is incredible. I invite everyone to just freakin’ go for it. Do you, don’t worry what people think about you and pursue things that bring you joy. You have so much to offer, you are valued, you are made in the image of God and you can be a creative being in this world full of creative beings.
And that’s pretty beautiful.
P.S. I made a new video - it’s silly, it’s us. It’s something I am proud of and something that brings me joy. I hope it brings you joy, too ;)
I'm Alyssa, thanks for stopping by! A few things: I enjoy laughing, making youtube videos and thrift shopping. Currently listening to "Everything Now" by Arcade Fire. I like my coffee black and my preferred method of maxin' & relaxin' is with my husband and pup.